elmo_world_RockS_Weeeee_On's Xanga

Friday, November 03, 2006

Fri, 03 Nov 2006 00:42:21 GMT

Naughty Riddles

Q.What do you call a virgin on a waterbed?
A: A cherry float.

Q: What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?
A: 1 US leader

Q: What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say?
A: Beat it - we're closed.

Q: Why do walruses go to Tupperware parties?
A: To find a tight seal.

Q: What's the difference between sin and shame?
A: It is a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.

Q: What's the speed limit of sex?
A: 68; at 69 you have to turn around.

Q: Why did Raggedy Ann get thrown out of the toy box?
A: She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face, and moaning, "Lie to me!"

Q: Why is air a lot like sex?
A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

Q: What's another name for pickled bread?
A: Dill-dough.

Q: Why are Monica Lewinsky's cheeks so puffy?
A: She's withholding evidence.

Q: What's the difference between light and hard?
A: You can sleep with a light on.

Q: Why is sex like a bridge game?
A: You don't need a partner if you have a good hand.

Q: What's the definition of macho?
A: Jogging home from your own vasectomy.

Q: What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?
A: Their balls are just for decoration

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Sun, 22 Oct 2006 17:58:27 GMT

sex poems

Love is a temptation
that starts with a sensation
when a guy stick's his location
in a girls destination
to increase the population
for the next generation
do you get my explaination
or do you need a demonstration???

Sky is blue
Water is wet
I'll make you cum
I'll make you sweat
Pressed up against my body
Movin up and down
Slowly but firmly
We'll move the ground

Kissing Is A Habit
Fucking Is A Game
Guys Get All The Pleasure
Girls Get All The Pain
10 Minutes Of Pleasure
9 Months Of Pain
3 Days In The Hospital
A Baby Without A Name
The Baby Is A Basturd
The Mother Is A Whore
This Woulda Never Happend If The Rubber Hadn't Tore!!

Roses are red
Grass is green
Open your legs
And I'll fill you with cream

Hickory dickory dock
This bitch was suckin my cock
The clock struck two
I dumped my goo
And dumped her to the end of the block

Sex is good
Sex is fine
Doggy Style & 69
Just for fun
Or gettin paid
Everyone likes gettin laid

Sex is evil
Sex is a sin
Sins are forgiven
So stick it in!!!

a peach is a peach
a plum is a plum
a kiss isn't a kiss without sum tounge
so open ur mouth &
close ur eyes
and give your mouth some exercise

roses r red
lemons are sour
open your legs & give me an hour

roses are nice
violets are fine.
ill be the six
if you be the nine.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Wed, 06 Sep 2006 21:33:28 GMT

~~50 THINGS GURLS WISH GUYS NEW...

1. Don`t tell us when you think other girls are hot.

2. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say
during commercials.

3. If you don't act like soap-opera guys, don`t expect us to
look like Victoria Secret Models.

4. Mark anniversaries on the calendar.

5. There is no such thing as "too much" spooning.

6. We think about you all the time.

7. This is how we see it »If He Don't call = He Must Not care.

8. Which also means that if we don`t call »take a hint.

9. We like you to be a little jealous. But overly possesive
is not necessary.

10. Being able to make us laugh is so much more important
than knowing you much you can bench-press.

11. Return favors: we message, you massage. we go down,
you go down. we shave, you shave.

12. Foreplay is not an option. It's a must.

13. We're allowed to be late. You're not.

14. Eye contact is key.

15. Don't take longer to get ready than we do.

16. Laugh at our jokes.

17. 3 words: honesty, honesty, honesty!

18. Girls can be groupies. Guy groupies are stalkers.

19. We never have to wonder if your orgasm was real.

20. Do not start with us. You will not win.

21. Would you like it if a guy treated your sister that way?
Didn't think so.

22. If you ask nicely, we`ll answer the same way.

23. We will never have enough clothes or shoes.

24. We have an excuse for being bitchy at least once a month.

25. Open the door for us no matter where we are.

26. We love surprises.

27. We like to be kissed softly. Not with an iron tongue.

28. Pay attention to the little things we do, because they
mean the most.

29. Boxers and maybe boxer briefs sometimes.
Never tighty-whities!

30. Always brush your teeth before you see us. A fresh
mouth and white teeth are a necessity.

31. Clean your room before we come over.

32. When we use our teeth, it means that you suck at
going down on us, so we're just returning the favor.

33. Even though you're sometimes insensitive and hurt
us, we still love you with everything we are.

34. Hit it and quit it. Because later on i`ll be with your
best friend, and he lasts for hours.

35. Don't act hard around your friends, because I won't
make you hard tonight.

36. Sometimes "NO!" really means "NO!".

37. "Wife beaters" are not an adequite form of fashion.

38. If we wanted to be on video tape, we`d be a porn star.
NOT your girlfriend….

39. Sensitive guys are great.. but crying more than we do in
a movie just isn't right.

40. Don`t let ex-girlfriends cause drama, relationships are
stressful enough.

41. It takes a special kind of stupid to forget birthdays.

42. Guys who are good cuddlers = guys who know how to
satisfy a woman.

43. "Fat chicks" have feelings, too.

44. Silent treatment, shoulder shrugs, tears, yelling, & nasty
looks add up to = YOU DiD SOMETHiNG WRONG.

45. The exscuse "I can't dance" is unacceptable. We`ll
appreciate the simple fact that you`re trying.

46. Just because a girl doesn`t pick up on the first ring,
doesn`t mean she`s not waiting by the phone.

47. You don`t have to spend alot; if it means alot.

48. Don`t say you love me if you don`t mean it.

49. Don`t lie to us. We will catch you.

50. When the girls get together, we talk about everything.
meaning, my bestfriends know everything about you

44 Things guys are suppose 2 do 4 gurls:

1-touch their waist
2-talk to them
3-share secrets
4-give her your jacket
5-kiss them slowly
6-hug her
7-hold her
8-laugh with her
9-invite her somewhere
10-let her be with you when you're with your friends-smile with her
12-take pics with her
13-pull her onto your lap
14-when she says she loves you more, deny it. fight back
15-when her friends say i love her more than you, deny it. fight back and hug her tight so she cant get to her friends. it makes her feel loved
16-always hug her and say i love you when you see her
17-kiss her unexpectedly
18-HUG HER FROM BEHIND AROUND THE WAIST
19-tell her shes beautiful not sexy!
20-tell her the way you feel about her!
21-kiss her on the lips
22-DONT ask her to buy you stuff. you buy HER stuff
23-TELL HER WHAT FEELS GOOD
24-make her feel loved
25-buy her stuff. small things can still help

26-don't lie to her
27-dont cheat on her
28-take her anywhere she wants
29-txt messege or call her in the morning and tell her have a good day at school, and how much you miss her
30-be there for her when ever she needs you, & even when she doesn't need you, just be there so she'll know that she can always count on you
31. Hold her close when she's cold and she can hold you too.
32. When you are alone hold her close and kiss her.
33. Kiss her on the cheek; (it will give her the hint that you want to kiss them).
34. While in the movie, put your arm around her and then she will automatically put her head on your shoulder, then lean in and tilt her chin up and kiss her lightly.
35. Dont ever tell her to leave even jokingly or act like you're mad. If shes upset, comfort her
36. When people diss her, stand up for her.
37. Look deep into her eyes and tell her you love her.

38. Lay down under the stars and put her head on your chest so she can listen to the steady beat of your heart, Link your fingers together while you whisper to her as she rests her eyes and listens to you.
39. When walking next to each other grab her hand.
40. When you hug her hold her in your arms as long as possible
41. Call her at night to wish her sweet dreams.
42. Comfort her when she cries and wipe away her tears.
43. Take her for long walks at night.
44. Always Remind her how much you love her.

Friday, September 01, 2006

Fri, 01 Sep 2006 23:42:20 GMT

hey look its me...

.Miss Drop dead gorgeous!
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Saturday, August 12, 2006

Sat, 12 Aug 2006 00:35:49 GMT

"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks
out."

"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I
may not lead. Walk beside me and be my friend."

"If you should die before me, ask if you can bring a friend."

"If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn't jump with
them, I would be at the bottom to catch them."

"Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best
friends listen to what you don't say."

"We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we
take a little of each other everywhere."

"Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends
will leave footprints in your heart."


"People are like stained glass windows. They sparkle and shine when
the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is
revealed only if there is a light from within."

“When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can
look beside you and your best friend will be there.”

"Promise you won't forget me, because if I thought you would, I'd
never leave."

"If I had one gift that I could give you, my friend, it would be the
ability to see yourself as others see you, because only then would you
know how extremely special you are."

“The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing
with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best
conversation you've ever had.”

"Tears may come and go,
But there's one thing I know.
All my life you're a friend of mine.
You can depend on me.
I'll be fine...
'Cause you're a friend of mine."

“Friends are those rare people who ask how you are and then wait to
hear the answer”

"Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in
the light."

"A circle is round it has no end, that's how long I want to be your
friend!"

"It takes years to build up trust, and just seconds to destroy it."

I believe in angels, the kind that heaven sends. I'm surrounded by
angels, but I call them my best friends."

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Tue, 01 Aug 2006 20:08:12 GMT

we miss u anna R.I.P

MCR ROCKS

This $h!t is nuts!

I start to complain when there's no rain.
Û Û Û

oh, don't be shy
let's cause a scene...
like lovers do
on silver screens.
· · ·

we'll make them so jealous,
we'll make them hate us

sometimes i wish i could fast forward time
just to see if it's worth it in the end

get silly
©

~Tragically Glamorous~

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Tue, 25 Jul 2006 12:25:38 GMT

God made men before women because you always make a rough draft before the final masterpiece.

Girls are like phones, they liked to be held, and talked to but if you push the wrong button you will get disconnected.

im not as think you drunk i am!

Girls are like butterflies they’re pretty to see and hard to catch.

Men are like high heels; they're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.

Party hardy, friends forever, out all nite, we'll be together, stay till dawn, then home to sleep, can't wait to do it all again next week.

I'm sitting under falling stars.
Do you miss me where you are?
I'm making plans to be with you,
but have they come unglued?

she'd take it back
if she only could.

In no time there'll be
one less sad robot
looking for a chance to be
something more than just metal.

She wants someone
to see her.
She needs to hear
she's beautiful.
A girl is much more than she seems
She's not a toy by any means
Underneath all the make-up and hair
There's a tag that says: "Handle with care"

And no one's so sure
if her crime had a reason,
but reason's like seasons
they constantly change.

Kiss me, I'm contagious

Mental anxiety, Mental breakdowns, Menstrual cramps, Menopause... Did you ever notice how all our problems begin with Men?

~ICP~the awmasing jeckel brothers.lol.yey

Monday, July 24, 2006

Mon, 24 Jul 2006 20:41:43 GMT

wow im bord ...im workin on takin pics of me & my frends & my frends frends && awsome things like that so i can put em on my xanga sooooooo yea yey ...wut fun...oh yea by the way im listin 2 ICP -Kermit the Frog on Weed & im gunna do something this weekend b/c im bord .so im gunna call ppl yey

why does the world hate me lol

Monday, July 24, 2006

Mon, 24 Jul 2006 00:19:33 GMT

hey im listin 2 good charlotte- the world is black ......god i luv that song......well wow im bord me my dad & my older sis went 2 willums grove 2 day it wuz fun rite now im checkin my yahoo e-mail & i got a lot of e-mail b/c my e-mail wouldent work 4 a hoe 1 ina half days but im fine now b/c now it works yey i so spelled willums rong ell well......well i think i did ell well i cant wait till some time in augest b/c im gunna bring a frend wit me up 2 wilums grove yey then i wont be lonly yey

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Thu, 20 Jul 2006 17:31:46 GMT

hey im bord im listin 2 "ICP Insane Clown Posse - Dating Game" i luv this song its funny. lol well anyway idk wut else 2 put o my xanga..omg im sonn getin pics on here finnaly.... um .idk wich pics 2 put on ....well ell well i figer it out sometime.....i guess b/c that meens i have 2 think & i hate thinkin b/c its hard well luv ya all

<33

~comment bak~